How Does A Married Couple Develop Old Fashioned Love?

It is the result of a strong attachment to each other long after the physical/emotional attraction wanes.  The attraction stage of love that draws a man and woman to one another can happen in an instant, as in "love at first sight."  But the attachment stage of love must be developed over a long period of time.  There is no substitute for the companionship between two people who have years of memories in common:  the same people, places, music, and events.    In the attachment stage of love the couple is so united that each member knows without a word being spoken what the other is feeling, thinking, wanting, or needing.  They can even finish each other's sentences.  The reward for those who work at developing the attachment stage is a strengthened love that is worth any pain or effort to acquire.

On The Other Side of The Garden by Virginia Fugate

What Happened To Old Fashioned Love?

Unfortunately, it is because most couples expect the immature, emotional attraction they first felt for one another to carry their marriage forever.  In reality, however, they soon find that the "magic" is gone, and what is left are problems and children.  Modern men and women are frequently unaware that a good marriage, like any other worthwhile endeavor in life, requires knowledge and hard work.  They don't know that what our grandparent's generation really had was the character to stick it out through thick and thin.

What happened to old-fashioned love?  People have thrown it away or traded it for something new and valueless.  They have given up on developing  the oneness of marriage and have replaced it with the singleness of self-interest.  They have discarded commitment and made instant self-gratification the criteria for determining life's choices.

1 Corinthians 7:2-5

But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.  The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.  The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.  In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.  Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer.  Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of the lack of self-control.